August 2002 newsletters News from the Realms! Come visit at telnet://barren.coredcs.com:8000/ TOM: Mortal Treasure Hunt Thieves have Stolen the gold from the Calathar Treasury, Your Job If You choose to accept it, is to seek out the Thieves camp, and gather clues as to where they may have burried or put the Treasure and then to recover the Gold, and bring it back to me, I will judge you on tatics used in finding the camp, how you got the information from the camp, and how well you found the treasure. Then I will add those scores up, and base my gift upon that, to give you. If this sounds like something you would like to attempt, drop me an note, and give me some times that would be good for you, I will the hunt when I have at least 5 people, and this won't be just a single day quest, I'll continue to run it until everyone who wanted to play has had a chance to do so, which means you have more then 1 chance to win =) The Rules - Of the Quest NO Locate Object May be Used This Quest is open to all Levels 5 - 151 Go to http://xomgromit.no-ip.org/brquest for details More fixes by Slart: - Added date and time character first logged in to our pfiles. It's accessible through inf. If your char already exists, well, obviously we didn't know when you started, but it'll work for new chars. - If you type list item in a store that doesn't have anything called "item", it will say "You can't buy that here." instead of "You can't buy anything here." I hope that will be less confusing. - Fixed bug that caused the demon "needle" command to attack the first person in the room if no target was provided. - You can't flee anymore if you're being carried. This probably makes it a bad idea to tank while carried. - You can now use the tellh command while sleeping. - The ventriloquate and create sound spells have been spruced up a bit. Try them out. - Psionic blast now works for level 15 and 16 chars. It had been broken for them ever since ills were updated and it went from being a level 17 spell to a level 15 spell. - Mobs with spec_hate_ and spec_(love|hate)_ won't attack sneaking characters anymore. I'm told this will make a few cranky people happy... - Room currents can't blow chars into solitary/private rooms anymore unless they're empty enough. IDEAS FOR THE REALMS -- please hit reply and tell us what you think. Kudzu: could you make a directory of the help files for demon parts? maybe organize by slot. some of the help files are hard to find Kiri -- IDEA OF THE WEEK! I'll try to put this together for you guys. Zem: I think that if a kender is sneaking they should be able to pick a lock even if somebody is standing in front of it. Leelou: how about orbs to fill the hold slot.....like orbs that float aside you. Kiri -- this would be something for an area builder to play around with. Joysinger: a spell to extinguish the magical flames around flaming equipment would be nifty :) hmm, maybe dispel magic could work for that? Kudzu: the guardian tells you what you can type to get help on your new limbs...something should tell the help files for your first limbs when you aren't replacing anything Stormwarden: meteor storm would be a very cool spell for maybe upper level elves...would add another battle spell at least:) Tom: Level 1's should be Immune to Hunger and Thirst just in case they are extreme newbies, they don't have to die while learning Kiri -- you won't die from hunger or thirst, and it's good to have a reason to learn this as a level 1. Hopefully someone would be helping, as well. Isis: be able to disarm 2.mob or something, so if you have two mobs on you with weapons, you can disarm, then disarm 2.mob and not worry about being disarmed again Horus: wouldnt it be nice if you could have a way of asking Thesius how much it'll cost to id something? or an approx level/price list somewhere? Tom: Lightning bits, so that you can have an area where lightning has a higher chance of striking you? Daehder: What about a new command that'll show stats to group mates? almost like group, but just for str,int,wis, etc Tom: ability to turn off BR Aliases, when you need to help a mortal and or newbie Kiri - these don't go automatically anyway, so what does it matter? Ashes: since demons are so incredibly evil and vile and nasty, i think both energy drain and death field should be learnable by them at some level before avatar. exactly when, i don't know, but before avatar Tom: Ability to remort to other races to, if you were a druid being able to remort and play a human would also be enjoyable :) Kiri -- isn't this what rehero really does? Tom: our attributes need more diversity, it should be harder to get them all max across the board, maybe we could rise them so you can focus more on the ones you want? Ex: Str and Dex you want to have high, the others will be lower then str and dex, whil Tom: why not allow Inn's to be paid and for them to heal you in a certain time frame, like 5 hours or so Faustus: create speco_fumble to have cursed items that make attacks that would otherwise have hit miss a certain percentage of the time Shadowhawk: RC rooms should be arena rooms. Just an idea. Tom: Mental Barrier should ONLY Reflect attacks, not make you attack yourself...I think this would balance the spell a little better Its: demons should get SOMETHING that does a room attack Zem: Maybe one use of the List command could be to list all the items that would cover a certain body type. Like, say, typing 'list arms' or something. Liubei: when u die half of the gold u were carring should be left in ur corpse Stars: Require an additional two "remort"s to be entered after anything is entered after a single "remort". KidKaos: something in the stats or a message that pops up to let us know when we recieve new mail Kiri - we have this for personal notes - the vile messenger that delivers a note to you. BIOS -- once again, I'm all out after this one! >Name on BR: brinley > >1. What piece of equipment would you most like to have irl and why? >a flying carpet. i'd travel all over the world. >2. If you could be any kind of M&M what kind would >you be and why, also what color? i would be an old school plain >light brown m & m. what's with the new blue, pink, and purple m&m's >anyway? it's unnatural. > >3. What color is your car? eww. i do not have or even want a >driver's license. my bike is yellow. > > > > 4. Do you have any pets? What are their names? one retreiver >mix named egan. > > > > 5. When's your birthday? 26 oct 1977 > > > > 6. What is your favorite sport and favorite team? the >sacramento sirens are pretty tough. > > > > 7. Who was the hero/imm who helped you when you first started >BR? dreamkeeper. > > > > 8. Which mob is your favorite? frank-n-furter. > > > > 9. Who introduced you to the mud? Have you passed the favor on >to anyone? my first girlfriend told me about barren realms. i think >her nick was rhiannon. i've introduced rishlyn, tailia, ashley, and >albion to barren realms. > > > > 10. If you were an animal, what would you be? a butterfly. i >could use some hibernation and metamorphisis. > > > > 11. What significant events greatly affected your life? >ditching my family was pretty beneficial. > > > > 12. What is your favorite area in the realms, and why? descent >to hell has the best location. candyland is nice because it's so big. > > > > 13. What is the longest amount of time you have ever spent in >one sitting on the realms? probably seventeen or eighteen hours. >maybe more. > > > > 14. If you could go back in time to 1BC, what modern invention >would you bestow on our primitive > > > ancestors to make their lives better? fireworks. > > > > 15. Given only a golf club, a shoe, some flypaper, sand and a >cube - what would you make? i'd fill the cube with sand and and put >flypaper on the bottom on the outside to hold it steady. i'd plant >aloe and cactus in the sand and use the golf club as a brace for the >plants. i'd give the shoe to my dog. > > > > 16. What one thing would you change about the world? i'd abolish money. > > > > 17. What one super power would you like to have? i'd like to fly. Responses by Baltar: > AMystery: how about a corpse channel that would announce when pccorpses = > were about to melt? save on the manual checking that has to be done now = > and wouldn't add to the spam as there are few corpses now. maybe just = > for !empty corpses Or, if you don't want to add a new channel, perhaps sending a message to the Hero channel? (After all, that's who you probably want to help you if your corpse is about to melt...) Baltar Kiri's WWW of URLS: This thing makes the fish and google's translator look like child's play. http://www.tranexp.com:2000/InterTran AHHH!! it's EEEEEEEEEvil! http://b3ta.com/i-love-you/ TV for cats. Maybe the creepy cat in the link above should watch this instead of singing! http://www.cnn.com/2002/SHOWBIZ/TV/07/19/meow.tv.ap/index.html Star Wars Attack of the Clones script.. with a twist. http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/starwars/clones1.html Do-It-Yourself Country-and-Western Song Generator: I met her __________(1); I can still recall _________ (2); she wore_____________(3) 1. on the highway in Sheboygan outside Fresno at a truck stop on probation in a jail cell in a nightmare incognito in the Stone Age in a tree house 2. in September at McDonald's ridin' shotgun wrestlin' gators all hunched over dead all over sort of pregnant with her father stoned on oatmeal with Merv Griffin 3. that purple dress that little hat those training pants the stolen goods the boxer shorts that plastic nose the Stassin pin the neon sign that creepy smile the hearing aid She was ______ (4) _____ (5), 4. sobbin' at the toll booth drinkin' Dr. Pepper weighted down with Twinkies breakin' out with acne crawlin' through the prairie smellin' kind of funny crashin' through the guardrail chewin' on a hangnail talkin' in Swahili drownin' in the quicksand slurpin' up linguini 5. in the twilight but I loved her by the off-ramp near Poughkeepsie with her cobra when she shot me on her elbows with Led Zeppelin with Miss Piggy with a wetback in her muu-muu and I knew _______(6); ______(7) I'd ______(8) forever; 6. no guy would ever love her more that she would be an easy score she'd bought her dentures in a store that she would be a crashing bore I'd never rate her more than "4" they'd hate her guts in Baltimore it was a raven, nothing more we really lost the last World War I'd have to scrape her off the floor what strong deodorants were for that she was rotten to the core that I would upchuck on the floor 7. I promised her I knew deep down She asked me if I told her shrink The judge declared My Pooh Bear said I shrieked in pain The painters knew A Klingon said My hamster thought The blood test showed Her rabbi said 8. stay with her warp her mind swear off booze change my sex punch her out live off her have my rash stay a dwarf hate her dog pick my nose play "Go Fish" salivate She said to me ____(9); But who'd have thought she'd _____(10) 9. our love would never die there was no other guy man wasn't meant to fly that Nixon didn't lie her basset hound was shy that Rolaids made her high she'd have a swiss on rye she loved my one blue eye her brother's name was Hy she liked "Spy Vs. Spy" that birthdays made her cry she couldn't stand my tie 10. run off wind up boogie yodel sky dive turn green freak out blast off make it black out bobsled grovel ___________(11); _________(12) goodbye. 11. with my best friend in my Edsel on a surfboard on "The Gong Show" with her dentist on her "Workmate" with a robot with no clothes on at her health club in her Maytag with her guru while in labor 12. You'd think at least that she'd have said I never had the chance to say She told her fat friend Grace to say I now can kiss my credit cards I guess I was too smashed to say I watched her melt away and sobbed She fell beneath the wheels and cried She sent a hired thug to say She freaked out on the lawn and screamed I pushed her off the bridge and waved But that's the way that pygmies say She sealed me in the vault and smirked WELCOME TO THE BARREN REALMS MUD NEWSLETTER! Come visit us at telnet://barren.coredcs.com:8000/ News from the Realms: Slart: tonight's fixes - Fixed bug in the demon serpent arm that kept the stun head from working - Mobs can't sell objects anymore. Apparently people were using a charmie scheme to launder hero funds back to morts. For shame! - If a mob is incapacitated or stunned, it won't knock pills out of your hand anymore if you try to eat them during combat - Fixed today's crash bug. It's too technical to explain briefly. Sozz: It's another Quest! Shhhhh! Be vewwy vewwy quiet! It's monster-hunting time! While walking around the city the other day, I came across a horrible sight! Monster footprints! Monsters can't be allowed to terrorize the realms, and frighten our players! It's time we all went on a Monster Hunt! You'll need some gear, of course, can't hunt monsters without gear! You'll be given a detailed list when we all gather to form a massive hunting party! The date's been set for Tuesday, August 27 at 11:30 AM system time; But we can't have a hunting party without YOU! We'll need all the help we can get to catch these monsters! There will be cash prizes for everyone, and a small token of appreciation for showing up. Lucky for you, Everybody is sponsoring this, so you're guaranteed something great if you place! See you there! A small note, this quest will take roughly 4 hours or so, at the maximum, as there is three parts to it. If you can't be there the whole time, that's fine, but I hope some of you will invest the time for a chance to win a great prize! Characters that need to log on or contact me for their password: Aelyne, Ahchu, Atamar, Baldar, Cataclasis, Crushingedge, Crutch, Danea, Duo, Dyzt, Eeyore, Fingers, Flakjack, Frostbite, Ghostmania, Gummi, Gwar, Heeroyuy, Horriday, Horvarth, Karol, Kemystrie, Lane, Makavian, Mastermind, Meero, Mervyn, Miraculix, Mulahey, Nugie, Nukem, Prime, Quinox, Ray, Sangaree, Skyhawk, Stormlord, Svin, Takkroth, Vegeta, Weyoun, Woodrow, Xylmonkiaji, Zodiac IDEAS - feel free to hit reply! Coren: If the mud has love race or hate race, why can't we have a love/hate Sex? Sting: Very rarely, when someone sacrifices something they get a full heal or 10,000 coins or something :) Its: demons with wings should get windzone Liubei: a phase skill for the demons where they can phase out of existance like being invis Ankou: i think gallows hill should be constantly lit, so ppl can actually see there corpse afterwards, not have to go get a light first then come back, when it's dark out Liubei: a skill for demons called devour where they would eat corpses that were looted and it would heal them a little bit Radicaled: have the blank spaces in equipment appear when u look at someone KidKaos: a feel command cause i don't know many blind people who can't eat and/or drink while blind KidKaos: not really a command as a recognition and be able to use say a skin or pie that you can feel. another sensory input as it were DevilsAngel: You know it would be so neat if the sacrificing gods were updated to Immortals now on the mud Liubei: a drunken guard at calathar that sometimes randomly attacks people Liubei: when you type tellh it should make drunk tells be normal like chath Liubei: demons should get death field since they are sooo evil Voodoo: if you trip a mob they shouldnt be able to cast spells Ashes: i think that the breathe attack from a demon's drazon snout should be an area attack-after all, a dragon breathing fire can cover quite a large land area Foy: is there any way to create an Online Diku area editor/builder? Kiri -- THere is. We just don't want one :) See Alicia's builder at http://www.csc.calpoly.edu/%7Ecbrand/br ! Zem: I think it would be worthwhile to have spells of 'detect good' and 'detect neutral' so help with the whole alignment thing. It makes sense if we already have 'detect evil'. Kiri -- called detect alignment :) Voodoo: a stop following command. Kiri -- we have this. Either follow self, or if you want someone else to stop following you, lose "soandso" Winner: hmm... how about wearing back to the previous set of eq that you were wearing before your death when you typed wear all after you get your corpse after your death? Its: demons should get a limb at level 1 Kiri's WWW of URLS: From Sidi: "After being away from BR for some time, I'm considering starting a new character to help me learn all the nuances of game play I've forgotten. Of course I have the worst time thinking of a character name. You can only guess how much I've struggled in the past. Imagine my elation when I found this resource: Germanic Names in the Low Lands before 1150 :" http://www.keesn.nl/names/ From Sgetsuo. Blame him if it isn't funny. http://www.ddj.com/documents/s=7453/ddj0208q/0208q.htm Again: http://www.best-marketing-tools.com/lego/lego.html Web pages that suck! http://www.webpagesthatsuck.com/ Bios & Responses will hopefully be in next week's edition. Blame your lazy selves ;) These "analogies from high school essays": Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. -- Sue Lin Chong, Washington His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. -- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. -- Joseph Romm, Washington She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. -- Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. -- Russell Beland, Springfield McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. -- Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. -- Roy Ashley, Washington Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. -- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. -- Russell Beland, Springfield Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake. -- Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. -- Unknown He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. -- Jack Bross, Chevy Chase The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. -- Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. -- Jennifer Hart, Arlington The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can. --Wayne Goode, Madison, AL They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. -- Paul Kocak, Syracuse NY John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. -- Russell Beland, Springfield The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. -- Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon. -- Unknown He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. -- Brian Broadus, Charlottesville Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. -- Sandra Hull, Arlington The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Jeopardy. -- Jean Sorensen, Herndon Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. -- Jerry Pannullo, Kensington The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. -- Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. -- Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night. -- Bonnie Speary Devore, Gaithersburg He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. -- John Kammer, Herndon Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. -- Barbara Collier, Garrett Park She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. --Susan Reese, Arlington It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before. -- Marian Carlsson, Lexington The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton. -- J.F. Knowles, Springfield The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. -- Jennifer Hart, Arlington The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. -- Paul J. Kocak, Syracuse The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium. -- Unknown It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. --Brian Broadus, Charlottesville He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. -- Susan Reese, Arlington She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword. -- Tom Witte, Gaithersburg Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser. -- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. -- Brian Broadus, Charlottesville She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. -- Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened. -- Sue Lin Chong, Washington It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall. -- Brian Broadus, Charlottesville Welcome to the Barren Realms MUD Newsletter! Visit BR at telnet://barren.coredcs.com:8000/ News from the Realms: Vanilla: Results! Finally! Alrighty, everyone! We're FINALLY done judging! Race, Anakin, and I all had our different opinions on which packs should win, so if you didn't place and expected to then you probably came really close :) I'm glad to say the turnout was good - we had 40 mortals total. Everyone who placed, contact Divebomb to get your prize. We separated the judging into lower level morts and higher level ones so it would be fairer. Ok, for the lower level morts, we awarded 2 characters: Sartorian - (head, 2 arms, 2 legs, and heart of Sartorian) and Jasper (100 gold, PJs, Mouseketeer hat, black leather jacket, and a water bed). For the higher level morts, we had three winners - Kudzu (short shorts, cowboy hat, green lederhosen, loving arms, and a waterbed) Desire (pink rose, honey lamp, skintight black dress, heart shaped medallion, loving arms) and Xan (Oak table, 2 chairs, McBagel, BigMac). And lastly, a special prize goes to Penta - This little guy had a very difficult time understanding English, so he barely knew what a date was when he started the quest (boy, girl, dinner, comprendez?) On top of that, it was his first quest. He managed to come through with above average items, including a tent. I'd just like to recognize him for not giving up and trying his best :) Some other good entries were Greyshield's, Dreamkeeper's, and Frans's, as well as Orm's, Sanasome's, and Blackhole's. Anyways, I think overall this quest was a big success. If you want your theme pack back then just send me a tell, and I'll get it to you. COMING SOON!! Results of the Imm's and Hero's attempts at this greuling task! Later all :) Vanilla Sozz: Monster Hunt Quest! Results Well, I'm pleased to report that the monster hunt was a complete success! And I've got the winners for you! In first place, came Pebbles! In second place came Angeles! And in a close third, it was Collapse! Angeles, by the way, also wins a special, Monster!-sized prize, for being the last one standing against the fearsome Floozlebucking! Just because they didn't win, doesn't mean everyone else who participated doesn't get a reward! Pyrrhulosia, Faulkner, Myra, KidKaos, Haze, Moldfinger, Anime, Zerochocobo, Desire, and Covenant, you'll be receiving a little token of appreciation as well :) Prizes as of right now, aren't ready yet, I'll note you guys personally when they are! Thanks to everyone who participated, I had a heckuvalotta fun holding this quest, and YOU made it possible! And, of course, a big, extra-special thank you to the sponsoring imm, Everybody, and to Faustus, for making my Floozlebucking come to life! Sozz Divebomb: Clanghammer, Rival of Vessendil The long-awaited (surprisingly enough) companion area to Vessendil has arrived! You can look for it where Juargan used to be (Juargan has bitten the big one and gone to the dead areas in the sky) If you know anything about Vessendil, you'll have some knowledge of what exists in Clanghammer. But what you think may be true may not be at all! Check it out. DB (p.s. juargan was near the miden'nir) IDEAS - please feel free to hit reply and give us your thoughts on these! Ashes: i think, similar to the way items can force socials from the players/mobs carrying them, that the items themselves should be able to social Suicide: how about a "put all.coins purse" command Ankou: how about a lose all command Eternity: How about a help rumors 151? Kiri - go ahead and write one ;) Anguish: when you recite something, it should say that it disappears after it's used Isis: fix it so you cant enchant weapons on teh ground... I just wasted an enchant scroll on a small sword lying on teh ground... Isis: perhaps if the orc gate guards weren't see-invis, or there was some warning on the western path, less people would get smushed by them... Anubis: an exp bouns or automatic nutrition for the person on the bottom of the wholist Peel: avians should be able to use vision and hover durring a fight Responses by Baltar: > "Icecold: please please please - detect good for demons? add it to one = > of the worse eyes to spice them up maybe? or even to the lion muzzle... = > *sniff your enemy!* :)" > >Amystery: I have thought about this for a while. Why haven't we had detect good a = > long time ago? It stands to reason that opposites would watch out for = > each other. Another question comes to mind: Why would a demon even = > have detect evil anyway? I think a demon wouldn't care so much about = > other sources of evil. A demon would most likely be concerned about its = > heavenly rivals... I second the motion for detect good, and not just for = > demons. Make it a spell similar to detect evil. I have no idea how = > this would be code wise, but maybe it could be a matter of what the = > caster's alignment is when he/she/it casts the spell. Detect evil might = > be changed to detect evil/good. If the caster's align is positive when = > the spell is cast then the spell is detect evil. If the caster's align = > is negative, then it is detect good. If align is 0, then the spell has = > no effect. Baltar: I disagree. There are plenty of times where a player might want to find the same alignment he/she/it already is...for example, you've accidentally gone too far evil/good and you need to get back towards neutral. While I think adding 'detect good' would be a good idea, I think it should be a separate spell, so you can detect whichever you actually want. Kiri's WWW of URLs: Sgetsuo's link for this week: http://www.republic.org/cant/ Another genealogy site - gencircles http://www.gencircles.com/ A swedish genealogy site http://www.arkion.se/ The Fortune 500 http://www.fortune.com/lists/F500/index.html Extracts (not) from the Guinness Book of Records (no, probably not for real :P) Women Car Parking The smallest curbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of 19.36m, equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. E. Simpkins (GB) driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova Swing on 12th October 1993. She started the maneuver at 11:15 a.m. in Ropergate, Pontefract, and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement, 8 hours, 14 minutes later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and the two adjoining cars, as well as shop frontage and two lampposts. Incorrect Driving The longest journey completed with the parking brake on was one of 313 miles, from Stranraer to Hollyhead, by Dr. Julie Thorn, at the wheel of a Saab 900 on 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey at Arid, but pressed on to Hollyhead with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed with the choke fully out and the right indicator flashing. Traffic Light Cosmetics The longest spell spent oblivious to traffic lights while applying makeup was one of 1 hour, 51 minutes, 38 seconds, by Miss J. Dobson at a road junction in the center of Preston on the 1st August 1975. Miss Dobson, a piano teacher, beautified herself through 212 cycles of the light, creating a tailback of irate motorists stretching 28 miles towards Leeds. Group Toilet Visit The record for the largest group of women to visit a toilet simultaneously is held by 147 workers at the Department of Social Security, Long Benton. At their annual celebration at a nightclub in Newcastle upon Tyne on 12th Oct 1994, Mrs. Beryl Crabtree got up to go to the toilet and was immediately followed by 146 other members of the party. Moving en masse the group entered the toilet at 9:52 p.m. and, after waiting for everyone to finish, emerged 2 hours, 37 minutes later. Men Expletives On 9th June 1996, Mr. Harold Brayson (GB) struck his thumb with a stonemason's mallet whilst breaking concrete in his back yard in Tewksbury, Gloucestershire. He went on to swear for 14 minutes, 7 seconds. Without stopping once or repeating a swear word. He later attempted to better this feat on BBC TV's "Record Breakers" programme by dropping a car battery on his foot. It ended in failure when he repeated the word b-----d after 12 minutes, 58 seconds. Beer Drinking The greatest amount of beer drunk before going to the lavatory was 25.5 liters (45 pints) of assorted weak lagers, by Mr. George Wingfield downed in various pubs in Knutsford high street, Cheshire, between 12:15 p.m. and 2:38 p.m. on 22nd December 1986. Urinating The longest urination delivered at one continuous scoot was one of 36 minutes, 24 seconds, by Mr. George Wingfield (GB) in the doorway of a newsstand in Knutsford on 22nd December 1986. Mr Wingfield was arrested and charged with a public order offense 17 minutes into his record attempt, but arresting officers had to wait a further 19 minutes, 24 seconds before taking him back to the station. Hottest Curry Eaten Many claims are made about the ferocity of curries eaten, but in the main they are difficult to substantiate. The hottest verifiable curry eaten was a XXX Hot Chicken Murg Thaal with extra chillies consumed by George Wingfield (GB) at the Bengal Tiger restaurant, Knutsford, on 23rd December 1986. The curry was reportedly so hot that between kitchen and table it burst into flames, singeing the waiter's eyebrows. Biggest Flatulence The largest and most catastrophic fart was one dropped by Mr. George Wingfield (GB) in the car park of the Dog and Duck, Knutsford, on the morning of the 24th December 1986. Suffering from terrible guts, Mr. Wingfield gingerly attempted to squeeze one out while bending to pick up his car keys, but the resulting explosion blew his entire digestive tract out of his hindquarters. Attending firemen hosed down his smoking guts for two hours before paramedics with breathing apparatus could begin the process of pushing them back up. Holiday Gymnastics The greatest number of sit-ups done in front of some females on a beach is 6 by Wayne Fletcher (GB) whilst on holiday in San Antonio, Ibiza on 19th August 1988. The women went off with a waiter. Loudest Car Stereo The Saisho stereo fitted in the Mk.II Escort belonging to Bill Millward (GB) reached a momentary peak noise level of 312 decibels while waiting at some traffic lights next to some young women in Stockport, Cheshire, on 8th July 1988. This noise level is equivalent to eight Concordes taking off inside the car. The women walked off. Car Customization Judged as a proportion of the overall value of the car, the accessories fitted to the Mark II Escort of Bill Millward (GB) add up to the world's most expensive car customization project at 105,761 percent. Between 8th March 1986 and 22nd September 1996, Millward spent a grand total of 63,456.99 pounds at the Stockport branch of Halfords in attempt to attract women to his vehicle. His fruitless purchases include a Paddy Hopkirk Full Body Styling Kit (33,500 pounds), "Nightrider" style Disco Stop Lights (3,199 pounds), Split 45 Weber Carburetors x 4 (3,200 pounds), Scorpion Talking Alarm, (3,500 pounds) and a chromium-plated Mock Twin Exhaust Extension (3,285 pounds). The car is currently valued at 350 to 360 pounds. Longest Wheel Spin The greatest length of time a car has screeched its wheels to impress some girls was achieved on 9th July 1988 by Bill Millward (GB) in his Mark II Escort. When traffic lights in Stockport, Cheshire, turned green, Millward attempted to pull off at such speed that his rear wheels spun for an amazing 42 seconds before the car began to move. Both tires fell to pieces and the clutch dropped out 20 yards down the road. The women walked off.