| | _______ (=3D=3D=3D|=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D= =3D=3D- -=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D|=3D= =3D=3D) \ __ \ | | | |__| | __ _ _ __ _ __ ___ _ ___ | ___ \ / __ \| | | |/ ___\ | |/ ___\ / ___ \ | |/ __ \ | | | | | | \ | | / | / | _____| | / | | | |___| | | |__ / | | | | | | |_____ | | | | /________/ \____/|_| |_| |_| \_____/ |_| |_| _______ _ \ __ \ | | | |__| | ___ __ _ | | _ __________ ____ | ___ \ / ___ \ / __ \| | | | | |/ __ ____ \ / ____\ | | | | | _____| | | \ | | | | / | | | | | |__ | | | | | |_____ | |__ / | | | | | | | | | \___ \ /__| |__| \_____/ \____/|_| |_| |_| |_| |_| \ \ ___________________________________________________________ / / <____________________________________________________________/ -Govinda Spudman: TITANIUM ARMOR, you know...like the platinum stuff Kiri -- Well, you're more than welcome to type help building on BR or request the builder's guide. WarpDrive: a spell called heat metal (high level morts, mabe hero), which heats a mobs' armor and makes the mob take it off, the mob would become rather p*ssed at you and would be aggro to you until the mob were killed. Kiri -- only if the eq got destroyed.. Stonehenge: Change it so offensive spells in a potion are cast upon the person that quaffs it. I say, anyone dumb enough to quaff a potion they find just lying around deserves to die. :) Stonehenge: What about morphing into dragons for high level elves? They'd get to use breath spells with no mana cost. PrncNeptune: how about mobs killed per death in info? Stonehenge: Allow weapons to be enchanted more than once, but put in a chance that they will 'fade', or lose all their properties, or explode into a million pieces, taking various parts of the anatomy with them. Stonehenge: When you flee, have the mob follow you and continue to beat your brains out. Stonehenge: Make plague more contagious dammit! Stonehenge: We have detect evil and all that, so why not detect good, and dispel good? PrncNeptune: alignment raised/lowered by killing people in the arena Stonehenge: Meditate for Elves/Druids, allows them to get mana back faster Kiri -- can just use alcohol. Stonehenge: Put push in, allows you to push lower level mobs/players out of the room Kiri -- no. :) PrncNeptune: the ability to split up your stats at the beginning (with the max of 64) except you'd have to have at least 10 of 1 stat and 12 in your prime Stonehenge: a sac.all command Kiri -- again, no. Too much of a possibility for abuse. WolfBane: Torment: You mental fling your oppenent across the room and slam him into walls! for illithids of course Dhmn: ATM at recall Kiri -- you can't walk the few steps to the bank? Juggler: remove items like figurines that cast summon, unless the purpose is simply to sell them for cash Kai: '$undo' command for Connect 4, other player must consent as a stipulation. Thordain: how about a skill that can snoop a MOB's level, hp, and mana? Serinth: a breathe spell....as in a spell that makes a nice little bubble around the caster so he/she/it can breath under water Thordain: a way to not allow someone to summon you, that way if you are busy, you won't be summoned from what you are doing. Kiri -- this is in the works.. Chaos: 'help save vs spell' - people ask about it on occasion. Kiri -- Kai is writing one. Juggler: allow Kender the ability to lock doors and other pickable objects Qzukk: could someone please modify flee so that it flees if someone in the room is fighting you, whether or not youre fighting anyone? twice now ive died when I tried to flee right when i killed the mob "Youre not fighting anyone" then "you have been kille Qzukk: can we have the flee command check to see if mobs are attacking you, rather than if you are attacking a mob? ive been killed twice under these conditions when it wouldnt let me flee for a turn. Melk: if you type visible and you arent already invisible make it say that you are already visible. Dedrik: how about a recharge mob for staffs/wands? have him out in the bune docks somewhere walking around.. cant tp/summon/astral to him.. have to literaly walk and find the SOB.. cost for a recharge would be like obj->lvl * ch->lvl * 100 (lvl 48 obj * lvl 50 mort * 100 =3D 240000 coins t= o recharge Thordain: an item that all players get (maybe at a certain level) that they could take notes on. Maybe write down the name of a mob in case they forget, or locations to an area. I think this might be very helpful. Kiri -- why can't they just use pen & paper? Genevia: I would like to thank the following for making barren fealms such a nice place to be! Symon,Wolfman, HappyCamper and AMystery. I would like to ask that they get richly blessed by the gods! Signed Genevia /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) Character Name: Elric RL Name: Joe Race on BR: Elf I am not currently a student, but hope to change that come September. I live with my wife and son in Guelph, Ontario. I don't have a homepage, but can be contacted at sylrayj@golden.net Hobbies: Role-Playing, Magic: The Gathering, misc. net surfing, soccer What will I do when I grow up? Well, I like to think of myself as pretty much grown, but once I"m out of school I hope to root out a good programming job. My favorite BR memory: Shoot, this is a tough one. I'd have to say though that it was right after I hit hero, back in the days of hero razing. It was a lot of fun. My favorite BR mob: There's two. Xor just because he's way too much fun. Course he's been outdone by newer code, but I'm a sentimental old fart and I like him. Second, is Shudde-M'ell. An obscure little low level mob that I had a lot of fun smiting way back when. Hope you enjoy. :) -Elric, a.k.a. Jow /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) Responses by BALTAR: > Mitey: How about a personal color test. To test colors, but not > spam the mud with cheer, use ctest ^chi^x and it would show 'CTEST: > ^chi^x (in cyan)' And only to that char. (continuation from previous=20 > idea) >=20 > -- Well... I suppose. Or, why not just have another char on, bring both= =20 > into a deserted room... SAY the command you want to test, and look at=20 > the results with the other character. Guess what: NO FUSS... NO=20 > CODING!! (You may have guessed, I am against coders doing needless crap,= =20 > pardon my french) Waitjustagoldurnminutehere! Since when is it okay to have two characters on at the same time? Heck, even *I* know that one...Deserted room or no, I think this is an excellent way to get trampled. Baltar Caller wrote: | PrncNeptune: earrings, we have rings, so why not earrings? one | for each ear |=20 | =20 | -- *Sob*. How could an earring help you. How many times in a fight | will the enemy go for the EAR LOBE? Sorry, I doubt this will ever | happen. Allow me to point out the Tyson/Holyfield match a while back... :=ACP /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) Kiri's WWW of URLS: All I can say is, it's mildly amusing: http://www.fred.net/turtle/index.shtml Revenge, by Rabies: http://www.newgrounds.com/assassin/hamster/index.html Kraft Mac & Cheese Worship Page: http://www.auraland.com/mc/ A look at some amusing failed ad campaigns: http://www.zeldman.com/ad.html /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) These are the responses to the SECOND Quest I ran, on Animal Poetry or Weather theme: Sender Divebomb~ Queen of the Night =20 The queen of the night watches her precious land. Perched upon a branch, she surveys her world. A mouse creeps here, a rabbit darts there. Her beady eyes see all, none escape. She cocks her head and spreads her wings. Like lightning she dives to the earth below. Snatching her prey in claws, tearing the life away. The victim releases a death scream, it's last words. 'Tis a swift, but painful death delivered, And to the branch she returns to feast. The meal completes, the Queen watches again. When night gives way to day, and the Sun rises high, She drifts into slumber, 'til her world of blackness returns. Dagmar~ The empty street was lit by the glow of a single orange light. Earlier rain covered the pavement with a shallow pool. As the skies opened up again, the wind began stirring. The ingredients mimicked those of many other storms, but the result was something different, something special. The torrent of drops splatterd the thin layer of water violently, throwing up a fine mist. The mist caught the light in a sort of half-hearted way and the ferocious winds rushed the mist over the pavement. It looked like smoke rolling down the street, thick clouds=20 almost knee high.=20 No movie or rock concert smoke had such an eerie glow=20 or moved so silently over the sparkle of shattered water. It was like a glimpse of the River Styx,=20 with Charon awaiting his weary, wet travelers in an empty car. The effect lasted over two hours before the storm died down, the foggy turbulence ceased and the orange night was still. By WARREN: An Ode To My Avian Pet =20 I have never known anyone, As huggable as my pet Avian... With white feathers all over him That brightly shines like the sun. =20 He usually gives me a peck, With his not-so pointed beak... And whenever he lose in C4 game, He quacks so much...Oh,what the heck! =20 He's got this cute little tail That sweeps me off my feet And wags like that of dog's Whenever we two meet =20 Claws so sharp,like scissors that cut Cuddling him fiercely..need no worry For if he dares to scratch me hard, My club is there to whack his butt =20 Licking and drooling,that's his fancy With pointed tongue...looks so disgusting But when he smooches,it feels so good Licks that are forever wanting... =20 Fly me away with those sturdy wings Let us sail across the evening sky And forget about the world below Just you,me...and migrating birds,too. =20 Tiver: Poem Contest... Poem 1: One Fish __ =2E Two Fish |\/ *\ =2E Red Fish |/\<_/ =2E Dead Fish Poem 2: (To the tune of the "Itsy Bitsy Spider"...) The itsy bitsy spider said a nasty line, Down came kiri, nail gunned its behin', Out popped its corpse, "Oh my god the Pain!", So the itsy bitsy spider never said it again. Poem 3: Humpty Dumpty sat on re-call, Humpty Dumpty had a great brawl, All of the heros and all of the imms, Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back togather again. *Snap* *Snap* *Snap* "Thank you, Thank you very much..." -Tiver, Poet Extraordinaire /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) Sent by TEMPER: > The IT Solutions Team has gone through every line of code in every > program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, > all data files, including backups and historic archives, and > modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report > that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and > have now implemented all changes to all programs and all > data to reflect your new standards. > > As a result our new dates will consistently appear as: > Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, > August, September, October, November, December > > As well as: > Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak > Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak > > I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this > Y to K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a > global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. > > And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, > what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year > rolls over from 99 to 00? > We'll await your direction. _____________________________________________________________________ | _____ __ ___ ___ ____ ___ ___ ____ __ _ _ _ _____ | | | | |__| |__/ |__/ |_ | | |__/ |_ |__| | | | | | | | |_____\ | | | \ | \ |___ | | | \ |___ | | |___ | | | \_____ | | | | ___ ____ ____ _ ____ _____ _____ ____ ___ | | | ______/ | | |_ | | | \__ | |_ | | |_ |__/ _____/ | | ________| | |___ \_|_/ ___/ |___ |___ | | |___ | \________ | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | No such thing as a failure who keeps trying...coasting to the bottom| | Is the only disgrace...-Blues Traveller | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | Be sure to check out the Official Barren Realms Homepage | | http://nightfall.simplenet.com/Kiri | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | -> Barren Realms: barren.coredcs.com:8000 <- | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | You can contact me at Kiri@li.net for any of the following: | | | | Ideas for Barren Realms | | | | Questions/Complaints | | | | Your scrapbook memories of BR | | | | Your poetry, stories, questions, comments, and bios for the | | mort/hero/imm bio section of the newsletter and BR Magazine. | | | | Getting on the mail list for: | | | | Players file: How to play the game, helps, and the BR story. | | Great information for ALL players, no matter what | | level. | | | | Builders guide: An all new guide on how to build areas for BR. | | Full of new information on bits, liquids, and a | | step by step instruction on building areas. | | | | Builders forum: A place to ask email questions about the area you | | are building | | | | Area list: A list of areas and descriptions of each, in depth | | and helpful | | | \_____________________________________________________________________/ Ascii by Cutlass-Mark Sherlock-msherlo@ibm.net If you wish to get the HTML version, simply reply with the word COLOR in the title. ******* ************** *** *** ************** **** ***Barren Realms*** **** *** *** *** *** *** ******* *** *********** ** ** *********** ***************** Dhmn: just a suggestion for the vacancy in the basement of the bar :) put Maybe move the slot machiens=nes wetc down there? Pokemon: I know that there's round lag for using oog spells, but is it possible to code it so that you don't have to wait insane amounts of time for non-battle spells such as stone skin,armor,bless,etc.? LordZombie: New skills for Kender: "cloak" lv 30ish, allows kender to ignore glow/hum eq effects for sneak/hide. Kiri -- sneak & hide don't work when eq hums/glows. That's the way it was intended. Dod: a spell called energy blast, raiging from 20-100 damage per hit Kiri -- for whom? Natedog: all races should get sanctuary Kiri -- No, we are not out to make all races carbon copies of one another. Warpdrive: Refining the idea of the heat armor spell, it would be an excellent idea to either (1) Destroy the armor as soon as the spell is successfully cast, causing damage to the mob (little) or (2) Let the armor fly off the mob, causing damage (little) and sitting on the ground with a (HEATED) flag, so that a person wouldn't be able to get the armor, or can try but burn his/her/its hands, causing hp loss. WarpDrive Natedog: if one is a hero then why can't they help mortals in sticky situations/give directions Kiri -- You know, I'm actually glad you brought this up. THis seems to be an issue with players, this misunderstand the purpose of a hero. Maybe it's time we address this so that people finally understand. Heroes are people who have won the game. This means, they've reached level 51. That's ALL it means. They don't have to help, period. They don't have to help newbies, they don't have to get your corpse, and they certainly don't have to give you directions, eq, etc. But if they wish to be promoted to immortal, they may CHOOSE to help. There are limits on the ways and to the extent that they may help. The best way to analogize it is this: Heroes who choose to help only should do it to the extent that they are teaching you how to play, for yourself. They can't GIVE you items because that would be lame. That would ruin the game. That would make it easy as cake for people to win, and this game is easy enough already. The way it is now, if you hero, you heroed on your own. You EARNED that. Everyone can look at you and know you learned how to play the game, and no one handing out equipment or spells with a 50 level advantage to you marred that at all. Heroes have plenty of benefits and advantages that make it unfairly easy for them to get items that you folks would have to work pretty hard to get. Balance is something you hear imms talking about a lot -- how something would imbalance the mud or balance it. What we mean by that is whether an item, a system, a policy, would make the mud too easy or too hard. You may disagree with what we see as balancing or imbalancing, but the fact remains that it's our jobs to determine it to the best of our abilities. Basically what I'm saying touches on a largest topic, people taking responsibility for themselves. It's reflected on BR, but also in real life. I can't tell you how many times I get tells from players who absolutely demand that i give them such and such exact directions, or such and such piece of equipment. The short answer to this? No, you need to learn how to work within the game. You have to learn to do it, on your own. We're here to help you along the way. We might choose to give you vague ideas of the directions, we may show you how to play (as in the newbie school), and we may provide you with answers to questions on how to do things. But we're not going to play the game for you. Aside from what you may think, most heroes and imms -- and definately myself, we care a whole lot about you guys. There are times when we really wish we could do more, but know it wouldn't be good for you or for the game if we did. Please keep in mind we hold ourselves to the rules we enforce, so yelling/nagging will do nothing but upset both parties. Just be kind to the heroes. They're there to help you learn. Not to do it for ya. Just a word from your Goddess, back to the regularly scheduled newsletter. /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) BIO INFO: Character Name/Names: Stonehenge (ImperialHQ, Fokker, Capitane, Sovereign, Bethany, Kristin) RL First name: Keith Job in rl: Student Race on BR: All of em Are you a student? If yes, where?: Yes, Wyomissing Area Jr./Sr. High School What state/country do you live in?: Wyomissing, Pennsylvania, USA What's your homepage URL: none, currently Your email?: KRose36333@sprynet.com Hobbies: Internet, girls, biking, friends, reading, music What will you do when you grow up: I'll think of something Favorite BR memory: Pissing off Tom by killing his janitors ;) Favorite BR mob: Gloppy II, you'd be surprised how many times I killed him with Stonehenge /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) FROM DIVEBOMB: Spudman: TITANIUM ARMOR, you know...like the platinum stuff Kiri Well, you're more than welcome to type help building on BR or request the builder's guide. --Is this a saved line on your text program too Kiri? WarpDrive: a spell called heat metal (high level morts, mabe hero), which heats a mobs' armor and makes the mob take it off, the mob would become rather p*ssed at you and would be aggro to you until the mob were killed. Kiri -- only if the eq got destroyed.. --Yup Stonehenge: Change it so offensive spells in a potion are cast upon the person that quaffs it. I say, anyone dumb enough to quaff a potion they find just lying around deserves to die. :) --I agree. For those with charm and glare it would be neat to give it to them and initate a battle with your opponent quaffing a potion that causes fireball or blindness on them. Stonehenge: What about morphing into dragons for high level elves? They'd get to use breath spells with no mana cost. --Interesting, but the morphing would have to be an insanely high cost. Sort of like complete health for illithids. PrncNeptune: how about mobs killed per death in info? --1)Why? 2)If you want average, use a calculator. Stonehenge: Allow weapons to be enchanted more than once, but put in a chance that they will 'fade', or lose all their properties, or explode into a million pieces, taking various parts of the anatomy with them. --Let me think...No. As if enchanting weapons wasn't powerful enough. I know how we could implement it though, if it blows up (let's say a 50% chance of that happening), then all the equipment on all the players in the room is disintegrated! Now that'd be fun! Stonehenge: When you flee, have the mob follow you and continue to beat your brains out. --Yeah I'd love mean lag chasing me all over, especially if I manage to flee all the way back to Calathar so he can wreak havoc on everyone else too. Stonehenge: Make plague more contagious dammit! --Plague is a horrible spell as it is and you want to make everyone even sicker? Cuz if it spreads to da mobs, it spreads to da playas too! You'll make a lot of friends getting them sick all the time too. Stonehenge: We have detect evil and all that, so why not detect good, and dispel good? --Why have detect evil? I suppose if a coder got really bored, go for it. But, not exciting for the game. How often do you use detect evil? PrncNeptune: alignment raised/lowered by killing people in the arena --No point. Stonehenge: Meditate for Elves/Druids, allows them to get mana back faster Kiri -- can just use alcohol. --Mmmmm beer. Stonehenge: Put push in, allows you to push lower level mobs/players out of the room Kiri -- no. :) --"Are you talking to me?" PrncNeptune: the ability to split up your stats at the beginning (with the max of 64) except you'd have to have at least 10 of 1 stat and 12 in your prime --Huh? Why make it so darn confusing? I have enough trouble picking 5 to enhance at the beginning and two of them are obvious. Stonehenge: a sac.all command Kiri -- again, no. Too much of a possibility for abuse. --What can I say, it's a dictatorship. ;) WolfBane: Torment: You mental fling your oppenent across the room and slam him into walls! for illithids of course --Do you use all the ill skills? Does anyone use all the ill skills? Do we need another one that doesn't do anything special? Dhmn: ATM at recall Kiri -- you can't walk the few steps to the bank? --4s,2w Juggler: remove items like figurines that cast summon, unless the purpose is simply to sell them for cash --remove em or change em Kai: '$undo' command for Connect 4, other player must consent as a stipulation. --C4 is just a game. You make a mistake you lose, you play another. Yay! Thordain: how about a skill that can snoop a MOB's level, hp, and mana? --You wanna see hp and mana? Get glare or charm and make em report. You wanna know the level? con him and guess. Serinth: a breathe spell....as in a spell that makes a nice little bubble around the caster so he/she/it can breath under water --not a bad idea, but is it worth implementing considering not much of BR is underwater? Thordain: a way to not allow someone to summon you, that way if you are busy, you won't be summoned from what you are doing. Kiri -- this is in the works.. --Halleluyah! Can we add no tp/no astral too? Chaos: 'help save vs spell' - people ask about it on occasion. Kiri -- Kai is writing one. --Go kai, go kai, you da man! Juggler: allow Kender the ability to lock doors and other pickable objects --Does it really matter? People don't even close doors behind them, who's gonna lock it? Qzukk: could someone please modify flee so that it flees if someone in the room is fighting you, whether or not youre fighting anyone? twice now ive died when I tried to flee right when i killed the mob "Youre not fighting anyone" then "you have been kille Qzukk: can we have the flee command check to see if mobs are attacking you, rather than if you are attacking a mob? ive been killed twice under these conditions when it wouldnt let me flee for a turn. --that's cool I've never seen that happen before. but if it does happen, yeah i'd say fixing it would be a neat idea Melk: if you type visible and you arent already invisible make it say that you are already visible. --Think about it, if you are visible and type visible you're visible, if you are invisible and type visible, your visible. Didn't you get what you wanted either way? Dedrik: how about a recharge mob for staffs/wands? have him out in the bune docks somewhere walking around.. cant tp/summon/astral to him.. have to literaly walk and find the SOB.. cost for a recharge would be like obj-)lvl * ch-)lvl * 100 (lvl 48 obj * lvl 50 mort * 100 = 240000 coins to recharge --Couldn't you just get another staff? Thordain: an item that all players get (maybe at a certain level) that they could take notes on. Maybe write down the name of a mob in case they forget, or locations to an area. I think this might be very helpful. Kiri -- why can't they just use pen & paper? --I prefer to use ink and a quill, or blood if i'm desperate, but pen and paper work. /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) Kiri's WWW of URL's: The Internet Movie Database: http://us.imdb.com/ THe Movie Sounds Page: Wav Files, Movie Sound Clips, Sound Bites & More! http://www.moviesounds.com/ The Hampstore Online Catalog: http://hampster.merchservices.com/cgi-bin/storehaZELDA.cgi T-Rex Realtime video of restoration: http://www.fmnh.org/sue/default_icam.htm /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) This is a continuation of the Animals/Weather Quest: Dagmar: From a distance they look like bowling pins Round at the bottom, but at the top thin Black and white tuxedo feathers Keep warm and snug in coldest weather They have wings, but cannot fly They're more like flippers, made to dive Into the water to catch some fish Morning or night, their favorite dish On land they're clumsy and walk too slow It's more like a waddle, wherever they go So they flop on their bellies and slide on the ice Faster than walking, it's twice as nice What kind of bird likes to slide and swim? The antarctic bird called the penguin! Starstorm: Poem for quest The fall of a shining star, The trees full of buds and branches The flowers blossoming wildly along green pastures The time for SPRING has come. The Leaves turn green and grow ever so slightly The music of cricket's and bugs play in the backround of a moonless night Let the world know what SUMMER is like! The leaves turn into radiant colors of red, gold, and brown! They fall while the gentle breeze carries them away the nights get colder as the days go by FALL is like a sunshine, so brilliant with color and beauty, but it last a short time WINTER, the whitest season of all Winter is barren, cold, and shows few signs of life. At night, the sound of nothing can make anyone afraid of what can be lurking in the shadows Winter, a cold, desolate end to a year of life, and WONDER! Serinth: poem Too good to be true... stalking my prey is such a rush.. the warm sun bakes me cozy... but the shade will cover my pounce... ripped its neck like a fine pair of shades... and its blood flows ever so freely... down my fangs, but I am not... hungry. to the closet i go to leave this present for my master. written by my cat: Truman Gypsyb: poem I look out the window at mounds of white snow. It swirls, twirls, and dances as the winds blow. This is a picture I could watch a long time. It reminds me of a scene from somewhere in my travels or is it just in my mind? So clean, so pure so utterly white. I grab easel and paints and paint with all my might. I must capture this while it is light! Many years later two little boys sitting before the fire. They seem go be gazing afar. They look above the mantle and what do they see? The beautiful white snow scene painted by me. /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) ---------------------------========================------------------- 20 most important lessons learned from playing video games. 1. There's no problem that cannot be overcome with violence. 2. You can overcome most adversaries simply by having enough quarters. 3. If it moves, KILL IT! 4. Operating any vehicle or weapon is simple and requires no training. 5. "Bosses" always hire henchmen weaker than they are to do their dirty work. 6. If you find food lying on the ground, eat it. 7. You can smash things and get away with it. (smashing things doesn't hurt and many nice things are hidden inside other things) 8. When someone dies, they disappear! 9. Money is frequently found lying in the streets. 10. All shopkeepers carry high tech weaponry. 11. You never run out of bullets, only grenades. 12. Ninjas are common and fight in public frequently. 13. Whenever huge, evil fat men are about to die, they start flashing. 14. When you are born, you are invulnerable for a brief period of time. 15. Although the enemy always has more aircraft than you, they fly in predictable patterns which makes it easier to shoot them all down. 16. All women wear revealing clothing and have great bodies. 17. The enemy always leaves weapons and ammo lying around for no apparent reason other than to allow their enemies to pick it up and defeat them with it. 18. You sustain injury if you hurt innocents. 19. Gang members frequently all look the same and often have the same names. 20. When driving, don't worry if your vehicle crashes or explodes. A new one will appear in its place. Daehder _____________________________________________________________________ | _____ __ ___ ___ ____ ___ ___ ____ __ _ _ _ _____ | | | | |__| |__/ |__/ |_ | | |__/ |_ |__| | | | | | | | |_____\ | | | \ | \ |___ | | | \ |___ | | |___ | | | \_____ | | | | ___ ____ ____ _ ____ _____ _____ ____ ___ | | | ______/ | | |_ | | | \__ | |_ | | |_ |__/ _____/ | | ________| | |___ \_|_/ ___/ |___ |___ | | |___ | \________ | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | No such thing as a failure who keeps trying...coasting to the bottom| | Is the only disgrace...-Blues Traveller | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | Be sure to check out the Official Barren Realms Homepage | | http://nightfall.simplenet.com/Kiri | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | -> Barren Realms: barren.coredcs.com:8000 <- | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | You can contact me at Kiri@li.net for any of the following: | | | | Ideas for Barren Realms | | | | Questions/Complaints | | | | Your scrapbook memories of BR | | | | Your poetry, stories, questions, comments, and bios for the | | mort/hero/imm bio section of the newsletter and BR Magazine. | | | | Getting on the mail list for: | | | | Players file: How to play the game, helps, and the BR story. | | Great information for ALL players, no matter what | | level. | | | | Builders guide: An all new guide on how to build areas for BR. | | Full of new information on bits, liquids, and a | | step by step instruction on building areas. | | | | Builders forum: A place to ask email questions about the area you | | are building | | | | Area list: A list of areas and descriptions of each, in depth | | and helpful | | | \_____________________________________________________________________/ Ascii by Cutlass-Mark Sherlock-msherlo@ibm.net | | _______ (===|====================- -====================|===) \ __ \ | | | |__| | __ _ _ __ _ __ ___ _ ___ | ___ \ / __ \| | | |/ ___\ | |/ ___\ / ___ \ | |/ __ \ | | | | | | \ | | / | / | _____| | / | | | |___| | | |__ / | | | | | | |_____ | | | | /________/ \____/|_| |_| |_| \_____/ |_| |_| _______ _ \ __ \ | | | |__| | ___ __ _ | | _ __________ ____ | ___ \ / ___ \ / __ \| | | | | |/ __ ____ \ / ____\ | | | | | _____| | | \ | | | | / | | | | | |__ | | | | | |_____ | |__ / | | | | | | | | | \___ \ /__| |__| \_____/ \____/|_| |_| |_| |_| |_| \ \ ___________________________________________________________ / / <____________________________________________________________/ -Govinda AMystery: a know alignment type spell/skill but one which remains and isn't an attack. for a magic race (ills?) Hellfire: Pre-title Adds like Mr. or Mrs. or sir but you get to pick Kiri -- I'm not sure what you mean. WarpDrive: there are too-few trainees in the practice arena, mabe you could add a second level "identical" to the first Thordain: make a differant idea section to let people submit ideas for areas. That way if builders hit a mental block, they could get ideas from our other realmers. Besides, who better to get ideas from? Kiri -- Dagmar asked for this too, I'll put a question for it later in the newsletter. Taper: Don't you think it's very useful to have a command...perhaps whoarena or arenawho that allows people to see who is inside the arena Kiri -- not a bad idea. Everybody: allow the slist command to take an argument...letting you see the skill listings for other races Kiri -- Slart is planning on putting this in, in the very near future. /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) Serinth: >Race: Avian >Other BR Characters: >RL Name:Rich >RL Location: Langley, VA >Favorite Thing about BR: Dying >Favorite thing about RL: Living >Favorite Food on BR (besides pot pies): Sliced and diced body parts >Favorite Mob:Moiraine Sedai >Strangest Experience: Struck by lightning while fighting a puddle >WWW Page: www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palladium/2027 >ICQ: 15838156 >Email: Rhowley@erols.com >Personal Quote:If you're not a little bit crazy, then you've got to be >insane.... :) /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) Quest Entries: These were for animal/syncronicity poems: AMystery: squirrel I see you up upon the limb so high and mighty I hear you're insane Laughter As I sit below you How I wish I had a rock How I wish I could fly then you would see you can't drop acorns in my eye This is called, Ode to a Soon To Be Deceased Squirrel Flitter: animal poem "A Cat Named Matt" by Flitter -There once was a cat named Matt. Who took a huge bite out of his hat. When he was done, he had fun. Now what do you think about that? Rabies: Eyes like molten gold stare towards the horizon; Ebony talons grip stone tightly in preparation for launch. A scent, the hint of cinnamon wafts from the dusky feathers; Black feathers touched with silver by the dawning sun. The beak, so wise and cruel, glints in the morning light. Wings unfold, unfurl, prepare to catch the wind - Lion's legs push out, a leap into the void. A clap of thunder at the first mighty beat of the wings; The gryphon takes flight into the morning sky. Serinth -Synchronicity Black sage, and the death of the roses..../The poison ran through my brother's veins and somehow... they found their way into mine/ The surf would break against the rocks.. and the moon glistened like diamonds off of the black sea/ Three thousand yards wasn't even a challenge to him, for that beautiful island in the sea.../ It was decided that noone should identify the body, you know.. Its amazing what the ocean can do to human given six days of buoyancy/ Back into the memories that creep into my throat.. I remember him saying 'three days'... It was his favorite song, the song I was to teach him to play/ on his axe... his beauty(fender stratocaster :)/ Mom had this dream three days past the death of my father's father, and she bent my ear to listen to what she saw.... a book 'Where Eagles Fly' couldn't have described him better... published three months later..../ Before then however... I ate the mushroom and went to the shower/ I tried to leak it out of me/ and the music played "Christmas lights..and candles.. right now you should be with us, feeling like we do, like you love to, but never will.... again"/ For three days I heard the Beatles play constantly.. another of his favorites, in the bathroom, in the car, on my stereo, at the movies, and yes... even the bar, I didn't even like them 'then'.../ Your ears must be tired, as I will get straight to the finish.... The girl in the cafeteria struck a beat in my heart and I did not see her again.... till three months past/ 'Twas my last day of school, and she dined with a female friend of mine, the only opportunity I had..../ That night we danced a mean jig.. and found out thoughts appealing/ The sun rose, we kissed, I stayed for two more days, and it was those three days that we fell in love... I never knew that three days could make me live again, but it did./ Its been five years since that night... and I don't remember the black sage, or the smell of the dying roses.... Its the three days that was my coincidence, and even though it wasn't a single moment in time, it did change my life forever. Anyone who knows me would say that I am skeptical of all that is not scientifically provable, a critic by nature. Honestly sometimes I do dismiss it all as something that's just in my head, my... imagination. But then again, that's also something my brother once said to me.. /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) Gene Siskel's Reviews of Movie Websites: http://www.zdnet.com/yil/content/mag/9609/siskel.html From Oakley, D-Top Theme pages for Windows Plus! http://www.d-top.com/category/3d.shtml And perhaps the most USEFUL page I've ever found, Internet Traffic Report, which will tell you whether it's BR's fault or your end of the web causing your lag: http://www.internettrafficreport.com/ And finally, Virtual Solar System. This requires a plugin download and a nice fast computer, but it's a beautiful page. http://www.nationalgeographic.com/solarsystem/splash.html /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) Okay, so many of you have asked for this that I feel it's really necessary. Your area builders on Barren Realms are looking for ideas. What kinds of areas would you like to see? What theme? Keep in mind BR is no longer accepting modern themes, and NO, please, no Star Wars. Yes I know it's not the future.. but it's still "modern" in the sense of all the guns/etc. So please send your ideas to me and I'll publish them in the next newsletter. /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) From CUTLASS: English's longest word is: Methionylgutaminylarginyltryrosylglutamylserylleucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucllysylglutamylarginllysylglutamylglyeylalanylphenylalanylvalyprolylphenylalanylyalythreonylleucylglycylaspartylproylglycylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleu cylaspartythreonylleucylisoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamylleucylglycylisoleucylprolyphenylalanylserylaspartylprolylleucelalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminylasparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylal anylalanylalanylglycylvalythreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinylphenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucyalanylleucylisoleucylarginylglutaminyllysylhistidylprolythreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucylglycylleucylleucylmethionyltylalanylasparaginylleucylvalylphenylalan ylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamylphenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalylglycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalylprolyvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylargin! ylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginlhistidylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosylthreonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonylglycylalanyglutamylasparaginylarginylanyl anylalanylleucylprolylleucylaspaaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysylglutamyltryrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucylglutaminlglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolylaspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylala nylglycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanylisoleucylbalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutamylglutaminylhistidylasparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucylalanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanyvalyglutaminylproly methionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine _____________________________________________________________________ | _____ __ ___ ___ ____ ___ ___ ____ __ _ _ _ _____ | | | | |__| |__/ |__/ |_ | | |__/ |_ |__| | | | | | | | |_____\ | | | \ | \ |___ | | | \ |___ | | |___ | | | \_____ | | | | ___ ____ ____ _ ____ _____ _____ ____ ___ | | | ______/ | | |_ | | | \__ | |_ | | |_ |__/ _____/ | | ________| | |___ \_|_/ ___/ |___ |___ | | |___ | \________ | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | No such thing as a failure who keeps trying...coasting to the bottom| | Is the only disgrace...-Blues Traveller | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | Be sure to check out the Official Barren Realms Homepage | | http://nightfall.simplenet.com/Kiri | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | -> Barren Realms: barren.coredcs.com:8000 <- | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | You can contact me at Kiri@li.net for any of the following: | | | | Ideas for Barren Realms | | | | Questions/Complaints | | | | Your scrapbook memories of BR | | | | Your poetry, stories, questions, comments, and bios for the | | mort/hero/imm bio section of the newsletter and BR Magazine. | | | | Getting on the mail list for: | | | | Players file: How to play the game, helps, and the BR story. | | Great information for ALL players, no matter what | | level. | | | | Builders guide: An all new guide on how to build areas for BR. | | Full of new information on bits, liquids, and a | | step by step instruction on building areas. | | | | Builders forum: A place to ask email questions about the area you | | are building | | | | Area list: A list of areas and descriptions of each, in depth | | and helpful | | | \_____________________________________________________________________/ Ascii by Cutlass-Mark Sherlock-msherlo@ibm.net ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dhmn: suggestion for the trivial games :) how about we get a free chat program on the B.R. homepage and play there? just a suggestion Kiri -- the BR homepage is being worked on and will return asap. OverDrive: since glasses go on your face, be able to wear glasses and a helmet, unless the helmet covers the face Dhmn: if it's not too much coding.. maybe have contorl weather only effect the immediate area you're in? Kiri -- I've wanted this for a LOOONG time. Soulstorm: How about a group all command. Type 'group all' and anyone that is following you will be grouped, faster and more efficent than grouping one by one. Kiri -- not bad. Stork: This needs to be fixed: { 5 10} Diku Haon Dor and {20 40} Listra Assault on Calathar are too close together, you go south and you are in LAC and immediatedy attacked by 4 orcs and a level 10 doesn't even have time to flee before he is dead. A wa Kiri -- Assault on Calathar is -IN- Haon Dor And not on the main path through, either. Stonehenge: Show ALL the places you can have equipment when you type equip, this way you know what you're missing. Stonehenge: Make dam/hit roll in some sense connect to HP. So if you have 1000 hp and you deal 80 damage, if you get down to 10 hp you'll only deal 50 damage. Or something like that. Genesis: reduce the costs and effects of enchant weapon by 1/5, but make it so that any non-magical weapon can be enchanted 5 times (on the 6th time, it either does nothing or makes the weapon blow up) and also make a chance that the weapon will blow up Kiri -- Personally, I think the version of enchant weapon we have now is fine. See: I think that kenders shud have something like track and/or locate object Kiri -- *presses her macro and you hear her voice from a tape player* We don't want to make the races carbon copies. :) WasABE: I think that it would be great if color code was added to the players descriptions... it would add a creative sense to all users... :) Kiri -- I'd like to see this too. From Serinth: About selling items in donations.....Arguing for it..... I would say, as a money source, high level items provide the best means of cash. By selling items from what you can kill you can earn money but not nearly enough to afford enhancements, which is what most players aim for. Also, killing mobs that you can at low level, and selling their low level items, is a poor way to earn money, as well as running the risk of levelling without enhancing. There are treasures that are free for the taking as well as a few items that can be easily found. There have been numerous times that I took my level 10 character into RHPS and scrounged for whatever I could find, so that I could enhance once more. Usually by selling donated items or by selling items that Ive scavenged, it takes anywhere from 30 min. to over an hour to earn enough.. basically it all depends on the amout of lag and a little bit of luck. Killing theives is a good method.. Selling treasure items is also a good method as long as you are the first one to sell, otherwise youre just out of luck. I have earned enough using these methods in less than 15 min. before, but not too often. As far as who gets them.. I think its all about who gets there first. Many players dont check very frequently, which allows the objects time to melt into the ground which does noone any good. Whether a person needs the equipment to wear or sell. level 20s will pick up items level 20 and up.. anything lower wont sell... so everything they donate will be worth more to those under 20.. etc.etc.. Arguing against it... first of all, selling items from donations requires no skill at all. You didnt get to fear for your life.. you didnt feel the thrill of finding them. You may be robbing someone else of an item that they truly need. But if you got an item from donations that you truly need you didnt really work for it either, no thrill no fear no skill, and if you lose it, you probably wont know where to get it again. Which is why I beleive the best purpose of donations is to feed the poor and make them rich :) That way they can afford to enhance hp or whatnot and find the items on their own with less fear of getting killed trying.. but still have the fear, anticipation, the skill, and the thrill. Best regards, Serinth/Juggler/Shelly/Bastian /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) Name: Wasabe Race: Elf RL Name: Eric Nakagawa RL Location: Honolulu, Hawaii Favorite Thing about BR: The ease of getting cash. Favorite Thing about RL: Girls. Favorite Food on BR: The head of an Eye Favorite Mob: I still get a blast from beating the crap out of Brainy the Smurf. Strang(cool)est Experience: Telnetting to barren.coredcs.com 8000 .. :) WWW Page(s): www.k12.hi.us/~enaka224 ns1.cta.net/~ericn Email: enaka224@makani.k12.hi.us Quote: "Even the weakest ink outlasts the strongest mind(so write things down)" /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) Responses by NADDAROW: AMystery: a know alignment type spell/skill but one which remains and isn't an attack. for a magic race (ills?) *Naddarow: Hmm...like detect invis, not bad... Hellfire: Pre-title Adds like Mr. or Mrs. or sir but you get to pick Kiri -- I'm not sure what you mean. *Naddarow:I get this idea...and I think it isn't all that bad of one, basically...currently a who/title is "(AVATAR) Naddarow the brewer." for example, hellfire's idea is "(AVATAR Mr. Naddarow the brewer." for example. WarpDrive: there are too-few trainees in the practice arena, mabe you could add a second level "identical" to the first *Naddarow: Have concidered that myself from time to time... Thordain: make a differant idea section to let people submit ideas for areas. That way if builders hit a mental block, they could get ideas from our other realmers. Besides, who better to get ideas from? Kiri -- Dagmar asked for this too, I'll put a question for it later in the newsletter. *Naddarow: :) Taper: Don't you think it's very useful to have a command...perhaps whoarena or arenawho that allows people to see who is inside the arena Kiri -- not a bad idea. *Naddarow: Again, not a bad idea, but you could always just go to, oh said, arena purple, where people seldom fight and where from there... Everybody: allow the slist command to take an argument...letting you see the skill listings for other races Kiri -- Slart is planning on putting this in, in the very near future. *Naddarow: interesting...:) /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) Virtual pets. I don't know how I feel about this page yet, but it SEEMS neat. http://www.blipz.com/default.cfm Want to see how WIRED your school is? http://www.zdnet.com/yil/content/college/colleges99/rankings.html Now THIS page is funny. It changes a URL of your choice into redneck or other such dialects. http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/dialectp.cgi?dialect=piglatin&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.yahoo.com And this is a fun page for about 5 minutes. Mugshots of famous people, including, yes Matrix fans... Mr. Reeves. http://www.mugshots.org/ /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) FOr those of you who have been asking for a more detailed bio section, here's an OPTIONAL bio thingy. Just fill out what you want to and return it to me. :) Even those of you who have done bios might want to do this one. BR Name: RL Name: >Age: >Sex: >Eyes: >Hair: >Astrological Sign: >Favorite Writer/Poet/Artist: >Place that you were born: >Favorite time of day: >Favorite quote: >Favorite article of clothing: >Describe yourself using only the sense of smell, sound, or taste: >Favorite made-up word (give definition, too): >Most non-practical thing that you own: >What's on your keychain? >If we read your mind right now, what would we see? >What's one think you know, that you really wish you didn't? >What is your earliest memory? >What would you do with a million dollars? >What is your favorite part of the house (or apartment)? >What person/place do you remember the most? >If you just met your soulmate, what would be the first thing you say to >him/her? >If you have 15 minutes of fame, what would you do with it? >If you were a color, what would it be? >What part of your body do you think describes you the most? >If you remember your dreams, what is the best/worst/most-memorable dream >you've ever had? >If you were stuck on a desert island, what book would you choose to take >with you? >If a genie popped out of a lamp and gave you 3 wishes, what would you >wish for? >If you could be reincarnated as any animal you choose, what would it be? > >If you could meet any person who's ever lived, who would it be? >If you died, would you ever come back to the as a ghost, and who would >you see? >If you could rename yourself, what (if any) new name would you choose? >What is the greatest thing you've ever done for another person? >If the world ended tomorrow, what would you do? >If you climbed on top of Mount Everest, what would be first thing you >said? >Given a choice, would you rather have Bill Gate's money, Einstein's >genius, or Roberto Benigni's charm? >If you could ask God any question, what would it be? >If you could ask one question to the sender of this email, what would it >be (make sure you send it back to him/her)? /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) One syncronicity quest poem left: Dagmar: synchronicity (sort of) And she would have sworn she was awake when she watched him stand over her bed and kiss her. She remembered hearing her own voice as she cried out, "Don't go!" Could her mind have created the pathetic expression on his face as he whispered "I have no choice" But a dream it was, because when she awoke, she was laying on the couch, the TV blaring but not blocking out the sound of the fists pounding on the door. Before she opened it, before she saw the officer standing there, before she heard him murmur, "I'm so sorry," she knew the truth and she remembered the dream words, "I have no choice," and she whispered, "Don't go!" Later that night she crumpled on the couch and remembered her dream of the night before, remembered seeing the red car in her dream, remembered seeing the red light in her dream, remembered seeing the red blood in her dream. She thought back to their conversation of the evening. On edge all day from the dream, she asked him to stay home, to not meet his friends at the bar. She remembered him saying, "I promised I'd be there. I have no choice." As he drove away, she stood at the door watching him and her soul screamed, "Don't go!" And NOW, the NAME QUEST: Mitey: M I T E Y & S O R T A M issing a detail here and there I nstantly finding the only path of which T o use, and he E mptily tried to pursue this course of action Y et ends up back in the same spot. [SORTA] S ometimes flying overhead in the skies O r making an exuse to do so, and R eady to pursue an action T o which nobody really cares A bout, & is completely useless - Sorta & Mitey Dagmar: name poem Do you think of me as Aloof or cold? Do I seem Guarded? Maybe there's More to who I really Am. Maybe I'm just a shy girl, looking for Respect and friendship. Temper: Poem Time has been splintered, Eternity is mine. Mortality has been stripped, Power, anger combine. Exile of Humanity, Rogue of the mind... /(*) | / | |\--------------------------------------------\ (@)(((((((( | >-------------------------------------------- > | |/--------------------------------------------/ | \ \(*) From DAEHDER: One of the cult novels of the 1970s turned out to be Lord of the Rings. ritten by one of the unlikeliest of best-selling authors, it affected a large number of people, not least of them being those people now in their teens saddled with names like Galadriel. How would this book have turned out had it been written by someone else? (Which is about as much excuse as I need to post to SHWI...) Lord of the Rings, by Ian Fleming. Aragorn placed his hand on the cool, ivory hilt of his 6.38 Anduril sword, half-holding it in as casual manner as possible. His eyes swept the room of the Prancing Pony, eyeing up the potential threats. He took out his pipe, made from the warmed heartwood of a mature oak. In the palm of his left hand, he unwrapped his leather tobacco pouch filled, as he preferred, with Gondorian Silk Cut. Aragorn preferred it to the harsher, stronger Numenorian blend... Lord of the Rings, by PG Wodehouse. "Sam, I've decided to go and overthrow the Dark Lord by tossing his jewellery into a volcano." "Very good, sir. Should I lay out your crazy adventure garb? I presume that this will pose a delay to tea-time. I would remind your Hobbitship that your Great Aunt Lobellia Sackville-Baggins is expected for tea." "Blast! I say, bother! How can a chap overthrow the Dark Lord? I suppose I will have to delay my campaign." "Very good, sir. I believe you will be free in about a decade." "I'll do it then. Make a note, Sam." Lord of the Rings, by Bernard Cornwell. "God save Rohan, we ye look at all those orcies," said Sergeant Eomer, looking down the slope near Helm's Deep. "Thousands upon thousands of them, and not a single guard." Aragorn looked at the multitude. He was a professional soldier, born and bred in a hedgerow, good only for war and fighting. Unlike the other officers, he didn't come from the Nobility, and was looked down by most. 'Nosey' Gandalf had given him his commission, and his sword, for saving his life in battle. "You're right, Sergeant Eomer. Let's see what we can do with these Numenorian bows".... Lord of the Rings, by Oscar Wilde. "He bested me in a riddle contest." "A riddle contest?" "It was so. And he cheated." "To cheat in a riddle contest is a riddle in itself, and is therefore not cheating, but just another riddle." "He cheated and asked me what he had in his pockets." "He picked and pocketed a pretty prize, performing perfidious behaviour." "How very noble, so like our own Lords and Masters".... Yes, Dark Lord, by Lynn & Jay. "Ah, Lord Sauron. I have here the draft of your speech to the Nazgul Committee on Running Water." "Still waters run deep, Sir Grishnakh?" "Er, with respect, Dark Lord, if waters are still, then they can't run at all, deep or shallow." "Thank you, Bernard. Where would we be without you. What's the gist of my speech?" "Essentially, Lord Sauron, that the policy of the Dark Lord Administration is to avoid having a policy, and that the absence of a policy does not betoken a lack of policy, but a policy of policy limitation, limiting policy initiatives to initial policy outlines, without precluding disparate policy initiatives within the policy outlines." "Pardon?" "You'll tell them they can do what they like, Lord Sauron."... Lord of the Rings, by Rudyard Kipling I went round to an elven inn, to buy a glass o' beer The owner looked at me long-nosed, "We don't serve your kind here" The elf maids giggled fit to die, pointing out my height But I swim in booze whenever there is Evil in the Night. Yes it's Gimli this and Gimli that And go away you brute But its To the Front, our faithful friend When the bows begin to shoot..... Lord of the Rings, by Raymond Chandler "Frodo Baggins?" said the old man in the doorway, rain dripping from his oversized hat with all the ease of a dwarf burrowing after gold. "That's the name on the door. Guess I'm gullible enough to believe what it says about me." The old man came in a dripped water on the earth floor. Added a touch of class, so I didn't complain. "Frodo, you've got a problem." "I pay my taxes, and I'm clean with the Rangers. What's my problem?" "Bilbo shafted you with that heirloom. Gold ring? Gold ringer, more like." "A dud, huh. Can't say I'm surprised." "If it was a dud, you wouldn't have a problem. Your problem is that this little heirloom has a history, a history with a pearl-handled stiletto in the back. It goes back all the way through the biggest string of mugs you find as wallpaper on Minas Tirith's finest. Goes all the way back to Night-Time Sauron....." Lord of the Rings, by George Lucas "Did you ever wonder who your father was, Frodo?" "Uncle Bilbo was my father, Obi Gan Dalf." "Your Uncle is a fine man, but he is not your father. Your father was a fine warrior and a great captain, strong in the Force. He was called Sarumann the Wise, and he was a good friend." "Was? Is he dead?" "He is no more. It is your destiny to avenge his death, young Baggins." Lord of the Rings, by Dylan Thomas I whistled defiantly as I walked down the streets of Under Mount Doom. Auntie Grima was baking orc bread, and the smell wafted over the streets like a miasma of wonderment. She was a dried-up woman, who cursed everytime the pit was mentioned, that death-dealing, life-giving pit. It was precious to us even though it killed us, our precious it was, but we didn't care about it as much as we cared about the grilled human ears we had for tea. "Dopey!" called my friend across the street to me, his voice echoing around our brown fields. "Dopey, you going to see the game?" There was always a game on. We didn't watch it, we devoured it, and when it was over, we played it out again and again, with a ball instead of a captive's head. Grishna was always Garth Lliwams, and I was always Jaypeeare. He was magic, and when we finished, we would go home and dream of Nazgul.... Lord of the Rings, by George MacDonald Fraser I never could stand that Boromir. Stuck up and arrogant. Still, I fixed him good in his turn. I remember thinking, when the halflings rushed off, that's yours, Boromir. But I'm getting ahead of the story. It all started back in Rivendell. It was all Gandalf's fault, of course. Nearly every disaster of the Third Age was. But this time he outdid himself. His idea of a good plan was to take this wonder weapon we had chanced upon, and throw it away. Couldn't even throw it away in the sea, like any sane chap. No, his plan was to take it all the way into the middle of enemy territory, where there were millions of orcs and others, and throw it into a volcano knowing that the d....d thing will explode. There was a long silence, and Gandalf then said "Volunteers only, of course." Then everyone looked towards me.... Lord of the Rings, by James Joyce Old man willow, whistling like a tea pot, shining like a star, oh so brilliant in the dreaming and smoke and by the river, Goldberry's river, dancing like a vision, Bombadil, Bombadil, Bombadillo. Rock of ages, youg and ageless, naked before my eyes like Rivendell Rock, sweet and hard and trusting.... Lord of the Rings, by Meatloaf It was a hot summer's day in the Marsh of the Dead There was fog crawling over the swamp I could listen to the screams of the Dead Men Calling I could see their empty eyes and the candles blowing in the wind. You were licking your finger With the Ring of Power and I was dying just to ask for a taste We were dancing together up on the Crack of Doom And no-ones gonna know what we've done. Bagenders Gaffer Gamgee was relating the doings of the Baggins down at the old Green Dragon. "I tell you, they ain't proper Bagenders, with them noses in the air, not like our Samkin, who can turn up a turnip pretty as you please. Now Lobellia, she's all right. Nah, she is. But Bilbo? Remember that business with the Old Dwarfs? And what did that Bilbo give me on his eleventy first? Wine. I asks you. Do I look like a wine drinker? Yeah, I knows I drunk it, but that's not the point..." Lord of the Rings, by Christopher Martin-Jenkins "It's a lovely summer's evening here in the Paths of the Dead. Aragorn has won the toss, and has decided to bat. Interesting decision, and Jonathon Agnew has some news on that, so I'll pass you over to Jonathon while Fred cuts me a slice of that delicious orc cake sent in by Mrs Galadriel of Lorien Wood. Thank you Mrs Galadriel." "Well, Chris, I've just been speaking with Eowyn, who said that she had recommended that Aragorn should send the other side in to the Paths of the Dead first. It seems that opening in there can be nasty. Bit of an uncomfortable pitch. The green slopes of Pelenor Fields are much more suitable to the opening pair of Aragorn and Eomer. Raggers seems keen to play a Captain's innings today. I gather the bearded wonder has some statistics for us?" "According to my records, the last time anyone went in on the Paths of the Dead, it was a sticky wicket." "I wonder if we'll see that again today. Well, Raggers has come out, and I must say, his new sword looks a lot better. Reforged, I hear. Fred?" "I don't know about forged or reforged, but he'll need to show more application than he has done. Treated his sword like it were broken." "That's true, but he has done some remarkable running between the countries. Oh dear, it looks like they're going in for the day. Yes, they're definitely going in to the Paths of the Dead...." Lord of the Rings, by Andrew Lloyd Weber Don't cry for me, Numenoria The truth is, you never sank down Beneath those wild waves Those deep sea wild waves You never left from This Middle Earth Lord of the Rings, by Gene Roddenberry "The Halflings, cap'n, they will na take the strain" "Strider, we've got to get out of this snow. Legolas, did you get a reading on that creature?" "Fascinating, Captain. It appears to be an unknown creature that lurks in the pool waiting for passing strangers. Ecologically implausible, captain." "Do you know what it is?" "I believe I said it was unknown, Dr Gimli. Logically, if I knew what it was, then it wouldn't be unknown." "Cap'n, we're in some sort of temporal warp, stretching and deforming the plot. The snow should take place a day before our encounter with this beastie." "Captain, what are we going to do." "Boromir, put on that red armour.".... Lord of the Rings, by D H Lawrence Arwen Evenstar stitched, her hands moving over the soft silk of the flag. Her hands moving, her mind roved, as free as she was herself trapped. Aragorn was far, far away, but active. She thought of his maleness, and stitched faster. Her hands brushed the silken flag, and she looked across the sward, eyes passing over the elven gamekeeper without seeing him, yet seeing everything.... -- Alison Brooks _____________________________________________________________________ | _____ __ ___ ___ ____ ___ ___ ____ __ _ _ _ _____ | | | | |__| |__/ |__/ |_ | | |__/ |_ |__| | | | | | | | |_____\ | | | \ | \ |___ | | | \ |___ | | |___ | | | \_____ | | | | ___ ____ ____ _ ____ _____ _____ ____ ___ | | | ______/ | | |_ | | | \__ | |_ | | |_ |__/ _____/ | | ________| | |___ \_|_/ ___/ |___ |___ | | |___ | \________ | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | No such thing as a failure who keeps trying...coasting to the bottom| | Is the only disgrace...-Blues Traveller | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | Be sure to check out the Official Barren Realms Homepage | | http://nightfall.simplenet.com/Kiri | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | -> Barren Realms: barren.coredcs.com:8000 <- | |_____________________________________________________________________| | | | You can contact me at Kiri@li.net for any of the following: | | | | Ideas for Barren Realms | | | | Questions/Complaints | | | | Your scrapbook memories of BR | | | | Your poetry, stories, questions, comments, and bios for the | | mort/hero/imm bio section of the newsletter and BR Magazine. | | | | Getting on the mail list for: | | | | Players file: How to play the game, helps, and the BR story. | | Great information for ALL players, no matter what | | level. | | | | Builders guide: An all new guide on how to build areas for BR. | | Full of new information on bits, liquids, and a | | step by step instruction on building areas. | | | | Builders forum: A place to ask email questions about the area you | | are building | | | | Area list: A list of areas and descriptions of each, in depth | | and helpful | | | \_____________________________________________________________________/ Ascii by Cutlass-Mark Sherlock-msherlo@ibm.net