minimalist area writing

[ducci]

i'm making this thread because i want to go under the 4-line minimum for room descriptions, which might not fly with EB, but even if it doesn't maybe it'll spark some fruitful discussions.

what i want to do is turn that 4-line minimuminto a maximum (for my area). in fact, i'd be shooting for about 2 lines per room in 1-3 simple, concise sentences. by simple i mean no appositives, subordinate clauses, or compound sentences, although i'd probably have to make exceptions now and then.

anyway, this brevity would be offset by:

1) including the most prominent feature of every room as an object instead of putting it in the description.

2) putting absolutely all discussion involving the cardinal directions in exit descriptions

3) having an extra description for every major noun in the room description

i want to write my area this way because my natural impulse on entering a room is to just check the "mob line" and the"exit line" and then skim the room description. i was hoping this way would read quickly enough for power-mudders but still have enough detail for bookworms.

anyway, there are a couple questions i'm grappling with. what if the most prominent feature of a room isn't stationary or is far away? the example i'm thinking of is a "room" on the ocean. Could a wave or a cloud or spray be reasonably put in the room as a non-takeable object?

the other question is, should the extra and exit descriptions be as spare as the room description or baroque? i don't want to have an odd change in style, but i want them to be worth looking at.

*for the curious, the area i'm talking about here will have 27-29 rooms including chutes and 19-21 mobs. i have the layout finished and the mobs named but haven't written a word of the descriptions. i have a general idea of the items i'm putting in, and there will be puzzles of the "discover the keyword" type. there will be a few obscure pop-culture references (discreetly placed). the lvl range is 40-45, but there will be at least one high level mob to come back and visit when xp gets scarce.

[Everybody]

Alright, three points in response (and bear with any poor sentences, etc. I may include, as I'm quite tired atm).
First, I'm ok with you writing the area in this fashion, as it is a conscious choice, and you are including the wealth of detail in an alternate form. However, depending on how it feels as a finished product, I may ask you to revise some of that detail back into the main room descs. That will be a decision I'll make during load-testing.
Second, I would avoid making unusual, distant, or non-static objects into !take objects. If you have nothing to include as a primary object, I would prefer not having an object in room to having one of those, although other people may have different thoughts. As a corollary, I would try to avoid including a room description about an object (even a !take object) and a physical version of that object in the same room - the object being there takes care of it being described. [Edit - you're already doing this, so nm.]
Third, I would prefer more detail to less in the extra descriptions, although I would say to keep exit descs somewhat sparser. If you feel like the tone is an abrupt shift by doing so, you can always clean up the language, while leaving pertinent details. (I consider Hemingway's terse prose a good reference for doing that particular style.)

[ducci]

hey thanks for the reply, eb. i now have no more excuses to procrastinate.

[Everybody]

Good. Procrastinating on building is bad for you.